Archive | 2:15 pm

It’s all Vince’s fault

15 Oct

That guy right there is responsable for the deaths, of almost every person in The Lost World. I know, right now you’re thinking to yourself “But, he’s Vince Vaughn he’s so charming, and loveable!” Well, your right, but that doesn’t make him any less responsible for everyone dying, let’s bullet point this.

  • Death #1: Loyal, hard working mechanic Eddie Carr is eaten by two very angry T-Rexs. How is this Double down Trent’s fault? Because brilliant Vince Vaughn thought it would be a good idea to “rescue” the T-Rex’s off spring from the evil hunter, and mend it’s leg, despite it being the offspring of two FUCKING HUGE MEAT EATING KILLING MACHINES.
  • Deaths #2-12: Because of Mr. “Save the Animals” all the captured dinosaurs are freed front their cages, and are allowed to run free through the camp of the mercenary hunters, causing many to be trampled. Because only Norman Bates redux would think freeing multi-ton wild animals is a good idea.
  • Death #13: Karl Hungus is eaten by a pack of crazy green chickens. again this is caused by Lester Long’s need to free the animals.
  • Deaths #14-20: So because they have no camp, no radio, and no cars the groups is forced to hike through Dino Island to find a radio, only to encounter a pissed off T-Rex, and a whole bunch of Raptors. Way to fucking go Vince.
  • Deaths# I lost count, but there are a ton: At some point Beanie steals the great white hunter’s ammo, so when he preps to shoot the T-Rex he dry fires (How the hell does a great hunter not have two extra cartridges?) thus causing his assistant to die, but he manges to tranq the king lizard, which then get’s put on a boat to San Diego, but at some point wakes up, kills everyone on board (while still being below deck, this makes little sense) then escapes the boat, rampages through San Diego (causing some Godzilla jokes to pop up) destroys half the city, kills a dog, destroys a ton of cars, and finally kills the snobbish business man. all in the name of PETA.

Verdict: They should have dropped VV into a Volcano for that bullshit.

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15 Oct